Rain falls easing the hearts prayer

This morning I woke to the sound of rain falling on the pavement outside, it floated into my room with the fresh pre-dawn air via my open window. Sensing the early hours, my eyes would not peel open, leaving me laying there just breathing in the rain… 

Rain brings me a deep sense of comfort; at times I feel like its my hearts tears I have sent to the loving Lord, who replies dropping them back on me with His love wrapped around each individual one, giving me hope. Sounding like music to my heart, a harmony that changes in every place I stand, every room, every evening. Its a tune that is unique to each listener in every part of the world hears in different colors, different ways. 

Today has unfolded into another day, I have this sense that Im present yet not all of me at the same time. The Sisters are safely home, what now feels like days ago they were away. Vatican II is in full swing as Im in the prehistory and slowly getting my head into the context and depth of its layers. Lent is on the doorstep with an increase in awareness, the heart starting to feel the change in red ness that dimes closer we get…. 

During the day I was abruptly asked "How long will the Sister thing last?" I didn't understand the question nor had a reply… I asked what that meant, with a gentle reply of 'how long would I be a Sister, as I am like no other nun anyone would dream to meet'. I asked if this was good or bad - let it be known this was asked when I was having an informal lesson on the Aussie Slang… 

Moments like this I just have to smile, Jesus words "who do you say I am" come straight to mind and play on my heart. 

While in some light it leaves me with a sense of slight confusion, how often at times I feel like Im down on uneven dirt, clang for a glimpse of glory through a broken pane. I look past the cracks and the smudges and see this face of freedom. I memorize Him, love Him, pray to want more of HIm. 

Bringing me back to my dawn laying in the rain; sometimes night isn't something I see with my eyes, but something I experience in my hearts when I wait too long… for something I hope for. A dream. A passion. A calling. A Memory. A be lovers Aroha. 

Sometimes, I find my footsteps on an unexpected journey of silence, when all I can do is pray and pray… in times often sense difficulty in finding hope alive, lit and new in the world. Even though - like the moon and the stars I know God places above all of us in the heavens - something we just can't see. 

The heart beats faster with the delight that Christ knows this longing for hope to be made new. Im not talking about self, rather everyone…. 

This morning I lay with a prayer of hope that the Lord sparks a special star one dark night. It will be so bright that men from opposite ends of the world can see it. This light will also be placed somewhere no one else will notice yet unless searched or recognized. The star is a quiet yet glimmering sparkle… 

Through this star, that rain passes around is left out as an invitation of hope, to follow the star of the heart - this light -invited to go on a new journey; one that is possibly away from 'path' as known before. 

In the light patter of the rain drops falling onto the pavement I hear the whisper lovingly to me - 

I remember…. you've been waiting….. 

for love

for kindness

for provision

for healing, 

I remember…. you've been praying

for circumstances of others to change

for reversal of chaos of this world

as things are not the way they're suppose to be. 

I remember …. YOU

Despite the way things appear at times, silences is never silence as you know. 

Look. I'm here

Listen. Let me love you. 

I am your light. I am your hope. I will carry you. 

Though the journey is paved with sunrises and sunsets, dusk and dawning, trails and long days. 

The Lord is faithful. 

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure… which Jesus has entered for us" 

(Hebrews 6:19-20)