Does He feel?

Sitting in the lounge in the silence of the house drinking the most divine cuppa of tea I have had all day!, munching on some cake Sister left before she went away. I find myself with Sister, as she works and I pretend too, as I type away ;o) 

It feels like a lot of small jobs have been achieved in-between the major things like class, mass and a little exercise. The day has fly by… Oh and we even had dinner - Shepherd Pie - one day I will be a chef ;o maybe in my next life!! hehe. 

The evening events went well, lenten group was a success as Sister said, there was a good number there, talkative and sounds like a lot of prayer going on. The prodigal son this weekend reading… I'm looking forward to reading the reflection tonight to see what more insight I can gain from this parable that never stops giving!! 

Class went well, the lecture style is not really my thing, it was more an open floor for question with the lecturer answering. I find this situation hard to learn in as it feels disjointed, often the conversation out weighted by a few, and I personally struggle to give and take the information presented. Maybe I will record the next lecture then I can play it back and get more sense from it. 

The reading material I learn so much more from; a little sad its not more lecture style as then I would be a sponge just soaking it all in!! When we get onto the actual Vatican documents then the style will change again, into more lecture style with key essences withdrawal from the delivery. 

Once I have finished Vatican Im going to dip into the Council of Trent. I know its very political however get the sense there is largely a lot in the fundamentals of it. 

My reading so far has got me to the end of the first period where Cardinal Suenen has made his speech. The book doesn't cover the speech in much detail so Im on the hunt for the speech. I was taken by what little I did get to read, that sense that the church is of Christ and light for the world. I can gain that very real sense that Suenen was about to sow seeds for the new documents yet to be written or even foreseen when he made the speech. 

When I start to learn about Pope John Paul XXIII ways, it leaves me with this sense that Pope Francis and him have so many similar characteristics. Of course you have to put into context, yet WOW … a parishioner is going to lean me Pope John Paul XXIII book of his life - Im not sure if its the Spiritual Journal of his or an autobiography, either way Im sure I will be able to obtain the other. I will put a blog post about it. Im very much looking forward it reading of course after I finish reading the history of the council, Im starting second period chapter now! 

Im looking forward to having a moment to ponder this evening…. what is left in the day!! 

This evening as I drove over to lectures, I was listening to the live broadcasting (or possibly a reply) of the hearing of Pell. The question came to mind… How does the Lord Feel? How in this world does anything stand, in a world like this? I know the Lord is not human so can not define him to my limited ways, yet I wonder, my heart at times feels so broken on hearing, reading or discovering others pain, others hardships… if Im human then the Lord must feel so much more deeply than I. 

Who can stand when your hearts flooded with … grief…? 

God's overflows  "…his heart was filled with pain." (Gen 6:6) 

Oh what a heart the Lord has, and it hurts!! Not with just a few drops of ache, not just with a slow drip of sadness. His whole massive heart fills, swells, burns with this rawness relentless pain like his heart is running liquid down his cheeks. 

In the midst of the storm, all the emptiness of the Lord floods with pain. And the Lord whisper to all those in the storm whose heart is bound to loved one, doesn't compare to how your Father's heart is bound to you. (Isaiah 49:15)

The Lord who hung the stars, He takes a thread of His heart and ties His to mine. (ours) The Lord ties His heart so when I feel pain, He fills with shattering pain. When someone is crying, he too will weep. 

Leaving me back to my first thought "The Lord cares so deeply He must look at this world and His heart must break." 

And then, I look at the cross answer before me - My heart did. 

On that Cross, he speared His side, pierced straight into His heart filled with pain, filled with water and blood of His broken heart that gushed out of him onto his broken brothers and sisters. 

I recall one lady in a prayer group saying that when you cry the Lord catches every tear and bottles it, keeping it close to him to keep us from falling apart. 

What a God we have!! A God who tied His heart to ours, who treasures our tears and His tears are the essence of time. Time that only continues on in this impossibly suffering world as Himself is willing to keep suffering the impossible with us. 

That's what we all share - that He shares the grief with all of us. Reasoning is cold yet His embrace is warm! 

Makes me revision storms, trusting in how they come as these are the falling tears of God.