Bitter taste of frustration

As I lay in my bed wide awake this morning with fresh air flowing in through the window crack, the birds rang like alarms, signing of what felt like a battle for them, whose calls came from different species, different places. Their wings let them soar above the land that has its own battle to fight. The sun started to rise with the light relieving clear blue sky, so pure, so bight! A new day arise with time to reflect for a moment on the previous, in order to move forward in the moment. 

I could sense that feeling of standing there at the window and feel the weight; theres bravery coming in the wind, all across the fields, all across out lands, can you feel it? It fills the air was the sense of thousands of battles are left unseen with a thousand more to win with our strength and bravery. What large role the Lord has to see all the battles give his guidance, strength and almighty love to all. 

This time yesterday I was entering into school to the unknown of what would fall upon me. Morning gathering took place with teachers trying to catch up with one another, sorting our mixed programs and on general greetings. Reaching the national anthem remind me that I must get the words and learn them; followed by the school prayer that also I must get the words and learn!; although I will admit given we are four weeks into the term the preps know already!! 

Heading to class the news arrived that it was our turn for church attendance!!! 

OH MY was all I could think… remember last year experience, I was not looking forward to this. Then I told myself, sure the parish priest will be giving the service, after all here is back from overseas now. 

Sadly, NO, not my luck as it turned out to be the same Asian possibly diocesan priest from last time. 

The St Mary church is still not repaired from a year ago fire, very slow progress to say the least. Therefore Mass is in the hall, which is a 'make shift' church for the community. 

Entering in I could feel myself hanging my head in shame, that to take on the title of been catholic means that i acknowledge what is about to occur, words from the priest mouth, is words from my brother, words from a man who is going to perform the most mystical, sacred and joyous act of giving we receive from the Lord, which feeds the soul. 

Sitting in 'silence' for twenty minutes until the priest was content that silence was achieved the Mass got under way. Listening to the readings I dear not think about what homily will come…. 

The Boy who brought a Miracle 

...was the homily title. 

OH that very title of it makes me turn in frustration; with young beautiful minds aware of the present of something, be it if they can name or not, take a title like this and teach them what - religion is just a commodity!! 

The story started with big words and images the children could not connect at all to. Progressing into the story a little to be told the boy got 'kicked' out of school for having no money, then told that his mother is coughing blood going to die. But not just die she was 'kicked' out of hospital for having no money either; the boy hearing someone saying she is going to die if she doesn't get a miracle. 

Returning home, the boy took his 'piggie bank' to a shop, ask to buy a miracle with the respond been laughed at and pointed too. (by this stage I looked at the other teacher and just shook my head in shame)In the store was the owners son - in - law, the priest spent about five minutes in technical family tree like fashion to describe who he was, not using the term son-in-law; like a five year old would even follow…. anyhow the son-in-law happen to over hear the conversation, coming out to ask the boy a few questions then returning back to his house to visit the mother. 

The son-in-law was a doctor. Result was the boy gave over the piggie bank and brought a miracle!! 

Im so certain my head was heating up ready to let rip at this priest, there are so many things to tell young children, teach them simple things telling them they have a friend in Jesus, explain who Jesus is, let them sense or get an image of love, tell them how to pray by making a wish regardless if they are religious… AAAAA, seriously someone should say something to the priest. 

Im sorry, I know they have an important role not just in the church yet in community too, which at times I would argue is not more important that any other person. Their present, their actions, words all shine out with weight for just been in the role they have been called to be in. Why can some not see the beautiful opportunity given to them, to witness bring young minds to the Lord, even if they are not catholic, why is there not an awareness that community is beyond your safe little four wall unit especially in a community that is culturally diverse! 

I have so many Why? 

For me personally oh how I struggle with the demeanor, word choose, witnessing the light of Christ presented in a blur way. Any priest who is called to say mass for anyone should embrace in the celebration, I have no idea what it must feel like for them to be in that role, in the position of standing at the altar speaking, representing, been a beacon for all Lords children before them. That in itself must give them so much positive energy, bring them closer to Lord themselves, therefore please I beg let that flow onto the community before you!!! 

OH WELL, for now all I can do is keep this priest in my prayers that he will entrust the Holy Spirit to gift him words next time he finds himself giving mass; using some of that Holy Spirit wisdom in his word choose at the homily time making it more suitable for his audience. 

SCHOOL after this went well, full on staying to help with library time which highlighted that I need to work on my character voices. Its rather a little like been in a drama when you read picture books to the children. I enjoy all the same. 

Returning home for a quick cold shower then I raced out to help on the St Vincent de Paul Soup van. 

It was hard work for the team. We were a member down, noticing the silence as we adventured out. This was not the hard work though; after the first stop which is accommodation house (or as term here half-way house) there were a few people who got a little more food than realized resulting in the overall amount we had left uncertain if reach until the last stop which was another accommodation house. 

Therefore, along the way there was a limited put on, of only two sandwiches and half a cup of soup if they didn't get a hotdog. Of course, we were running low on soup as well, plus on top of all this we were informed that the food was only for that night and not to be given for sandwiches for school or a meal for the next day. 

Hard work, to see people in need, to see that they were hungry yet had to limit what giving them, especially when on previous weeks they were given twice the amount. Heart breaking and frustrating. I deeply struggle with the very fact that I learnt back in Palmy the raw beauty in fulfilling that basic need of hunger. Only by doing this is the individual able to move the next step to seeking. There is frustration for me to know or rather deeply wonder with concern if that basic need is getting meet, is there any other support given, followed up or reached out to them. ??? Band aid effect is still present I fear. 

Sometimes, maybe just for one day, I wish the media would publish articles of pure truth that are right before peoples eyes, before peoples ears if they dear to see/hear. Open the doors to reality exposing the fact so many people go to sleep without knowing how they will feed their hungry children the next day. Im not a mother, yet that pain a mother must feel in not being able to answer her own child call for food, must break her repeatedly. That pain of knowing that next mont there might not be water coming out of the taps or heating, cooling or even the very ability to get to school. 

Yet the problem is not just for mothers, the problem is for our elderly. Who has given society the right to close the doors, forget what treasures they have given to society and reward them with a ticket of 'out of mind, out of sight'. Why are we living in a culture of behind close doors!!! 

Returning home last night as I walked with the very weight of reality so hard not to ponder upon. 

The world has enough food to eliminate world hungry, there is enough food that hunger should not be a common cry for funding. Many nations have defeated hunger or been defeated by it! 

It doesn't require some scientific breakthrough, people simply need access to an adequate amount of nutritious food. 

COME ON, food industry is growing, just look at that alone, after all when a nation solve that problem it fuels their economy and creates jobs, opportunities!!! Starts a new cycle, gives a gift that goes beyond the physical need. 

I get a little frustrated when governments talk about fighting… its like a peace hangs senselessly and precariously upon the very cost to fight, costing billions to build and billions to improve - even the press release last week from the government here in Australia issuing a $149 billion injection into the military for new flight vehicle, communication, submarines and so forth YET it gets better as once all these new machines are acquired it will take another 100 billion or so to maintain!!  All this hugh funding the country could have implemented a school lunch program, homeless shelters, better accommodation for those who are struggling in this economy. With this money it would have gone a long way to help humans, to feed all those children who go to bed hungry, or have deficiencies due to nutrition. Instead of building the peace by attacking injustices like starvation, disease, illiteracy, political and economic servitor, there is trillions of dollars spent on conflict, on ensure the safe security of the wealth is protected… 

Last night I was left with this extreme feeling of hopeless, a feeling which seems to come at times witnessing the people at the margins, leaving me to let out a cry to Lord, to please at least be with these innocent, beautiful people, who are deprived the moral right that was given to them been born in the world of having food - which seems humans have taken away from them with so much ease thinking they have right to!! 

Public charities, food banks and church groups are doing, what seems like more than ever before, to meet the demand on the 'grass roots' level. Its sad to sense that there will never be an end to hunger if the only approach is through the work of local charities. Its a national problem that needs to be addressed through national and political leadership. Charity is a gift yet not a way to feed a nation, especially one that is not in crisis. Its not like national security is through charity (although in this country I wish it was, as we would do a lot better than the government!) therefore why is the protection of families and children done through charity!!