What Awkwardness is teaching me

Over the past few days there have been moments of awkwardness. It happens. 

There was a moment when we were the market, when a kind lady was trying to sell us fish… not like normal fish yet alive swimming in the bucket before my eyes. So much for the three seconds out of water n your dead theory that I believed in! I laughed and kindly informed her I didn’t need a pet fish. One of the Sisters - to - be, was with me, she laughed and translated to the lady. 

While laughter and light heartedness speaks a lot, there are those moments when I just look blank into the other face knowing the language that the other is speaking has no understanding for me, not even able to work out with a word here or there like you so often can in some european languages. Yet at the same time there is this rich beauty about the way they language sounds, harmonic, rhythmical and even like a song. I struggle to see how anyone can express words of negativity with a language so beautiful and playful. 

There is a certain anxiety that comes in those moments though, moments when the world of words fail you, your checks get hot, shirt sticky with sweat and the inner critic becomes so loud unable to hear anything else. I am sure we all have had these moments.

There is one good thing in all this though, as I reflected today on my past few days of been out and about. The best way to explain is take the famous motorbike driving here. 

So often the first thing Sisters, Brothers talk about after returning back from Vietnam is the motorbike driving. While I think possibly I am not exposed to the complexity of the whole picture, as we are based on the out skirts of the city. The common notion of no one following traffic rules with no lights or signals. Motorbikes, cars, even trucks continually drive on the wrong side of the road towards you. At an intersection if you want to turn left from the right-hand side of the road, you simply drive headlong into the oncoming traffic and expect them to make their way around you. And the incredible thing is that they do! What’s more, there’s no road rage directed at you for cutting across them, because they’ll be doing the same thing at the next intersection. As for those who walk, well just stay close to the side of the road and keep walking slowly they will move around you. 

Personally Im a little more put off by the dogs that follow opposed to the bikes, then again often I have my walking companion Hang who is normal linking arms as we merrily wonder down the streets. 

Yet in saying all this, I think the traffic has symbolic way of reflecting the Vietnamese psyche. It epitomises their willingness and ability to bed with the wind, so to speak, to give way to obstacles where necessary, let them pass and then emerge to continue on their way. 

My sense is the culture here is not one that is caught up with avoiding all the awkward!! It is so often that we hear stories of personal lives been a train wreck but as about to confront an audience in whatever situation this is put aside and rather easy to make people fall for the mask. 

Isn’t that what our world tells us? Post the perfect pictures on Facebook or Instagram. Work the crowd. Craft an image. Create an audience instead of meaningful relationships. 

Avoid all the awkward. 

In truth, despite its difficulties, I’m starting to love the beauty that awkwardness brings. Its where we find out how expressions of inner joy can transform. Its where we remember we are not God - and that is a very good thing!! It’s where we learn to believe we’re loved for who we are and not who we sometimes wish we could be. 

In the house here, Im highly aware of the limitations our english can deliver. There is differing degrees of english, yet something goes beyond this. Communication is no problem, as long as your open, creative and willing to express your self. 

Moments when I sit listening to the girls its easy to feel a sense of awkwardness, yet at the same time, it reminds me that this is the price of admission for authentic connection. It costs us, oh at times it cost us. It costs our pride, our desires to be seen as perfect and the comfort of our couches. I hope I’m always willing to pay it. 

The people all around me remind me impress me! Its a great place to stand. I have no idea about their social media pages, or their past rather I know or connecting to the beautiful creation standing together. Showing up everyday and saying “Here I am. There you are. Let’s figure out how to love each other.” This is a brave, beautiful, world-changing thing. 

And I think this kind of living is what Jesus shows us. He didn’t come to a throne but to a manger. He didn’t seek a spotlight but a cross. He didn’t stay at a distance but instead walked the dusty, messy roads with us. He could spend all his time on ‘stages’ talking to the people rather he walked beside them, touching them, pursuing their hearts one by one. He still does. 

Photos from the Market

Fresh Veggies, lots of greens - vegetarian heaven. 

Coconuts, - we got a few the other day from the man cycling around with a trailer full.
They skill to cut infant of us, then we return to drink with our meal.
Fresh coconut water, then we used the coconut for dinner. 

My meat eating is limited, in truth I would prefer to not even know where it comes from
I am yet to eat fish, for now looking at these chickens rather does
not help with the eating situation!
Yet WHEN IN ROME DO AS ROMANS....
OR
When in Vietnam do as the Vietnamese do!!!

All in the adventure!