Stone in our pockets

We carry them like stone in our pockets. Throughout the day we hold them in our hands and rub the rough edges with our thumb. We pick them up without even thinking. Carry them with us where ever we go. 

Some small ,some more like boulders. Whatever their size, they are familiar to us. The weight of them in our pockets, the coolness of them in our hands, the memory of them in our minds. We turn them over and over. Holding on, holding tight. 

We tell ourselves we can handle them. So we fill our pockets, adjust our footing and neglect to notice the limp we walk with under the weight of all that fills our pockets, and our minds. 

Today, desert day, has lead me on a journey with Luke - starting with the sweet words found in 12:22-34,

I tell you do not worry. 

These words remind me a little of 1Peter 5: 6-7 - 

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, 

that He may exalt you at the proper time, 

casting all your anxiety on Him, 

because He cares for you”

Cast means “throw”. Not, set down, or share with, or hand over to. It means THROW!  

We are told to literally throw our stones on Jesus. Right after we are told to humble ourselves. And isn’t that the key? To finally arrive at the point where we can admit that we can no longer carry this load on our own, that we don’t have the answers we need, that we can’t fix the problems we face. 

If I was on a retreat I could envision the facilitator to instruct those present to write their worries or anxiety on the stones. This in itself would be a heart moving experience to identify, name, own that worry. Then gathering the stones walk to the edge of the lake. Holding the stones in hands, examine them with eyes and heart then finally, with breath held, threw them into the deep, never to be seen again. 

I can envision a moment when something would happen with the releasing of the stones. Heads would life, faces would soften, shoulders would relax. A physical transformation would happen with the realisation that no longer does one need to carry “that”.

Its rather alarming to realise how easily we pick up the stones. Some days I leave my phone charging in my bedroom and my laptop sealed shut against the Pandora’s box social media and endless emails - have become. Sometimes I feel not wanting to waste words when all I have are questions. When all I have are prayers. So I its a welcome embrace to flip through my book to the Psalms listening to the echoes of my heart. 

Sometimes its so easy to pick up the stone, that your not even aware that it is a stone until you feel the endless edge. I can see why Luke put this passage between Jesus teaching on judgement and hypocrites. At times I feel like its ironic thing that its easy to pride oneself on loving the heart of God. 

I care about justice - give me the poor, the weak, the outcast or the other, and I become mercy to their words. I care about grace - give me the lost, the broken, the weeping wanderers, and the misunderstood, and I will sit with them. I will weep with them and feel every tear. I will offer space to come and meet our Father. Maybe its as I myself know what it feels like to drift then be loved back to life. 

Yet bring I can’t help think about daily living, daily people we encounter. Not everyone is fits into those labels or boxes. This got me thinking about my neighbours… 

What is hard is not the man robbed on the side of the road, beaten and left for dead. What is hard is loving the priest and the Levite who crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 

When Jesus asks me who is my neighbour, the hardest answer for me will be the people I most disagree with, the ones who spout hate, the ones who endorse it willingly, who discard the image in the people I love, the ones who can’t enter into another’s pain. It will be the ones immersed in Christian culture who brandish Scripture like a weapon against the lost, instead of an invitation to come and see the Kingdom of God. The hardest answer will be the ones I’ve judged, the ones I think don’t deserve grace, the ones I think don’t offer it to others. - Who am I to judge anyway… 

When Jesus asks me who DID I command you to love, I know exactly who He’s talking about…. as sometimes I want an effortless love. I want an affinity group, not a community, not a body. I read the other day … Its not community until someone you don’t like shows up…. thought provoking comment. 

Loving the heart of God will always call for me toward uncomfortable love; there isn’t any other kind. It is in these moments that the stones are so easily collected and held. Its in these times that stones need to turn to pavers so you can walk upon them on the journey ahead. 

“The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, 

but the person who loves those around them will create community. “ 

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer -