14 days into the new...

Where has the days gone. The new beginning has come and past, now nearly mid month. 

What happened! 

Did I sleep through it, I can see by the black marks under my eyes that is far from reality. 

So much has fallen into a small gap of time, return trip to Australia, Birthday celebrations, four people plus my own, Feast day of our foundress, Epiphany, Baptism of Christ, Christmas, New Year, endless meals, celebrations and the list keeps going on… 

Hard to believe that around this time last year I was on retreat, preparing for the coming taking of vows. On the 11th Jan was had a feast day celebration of our Foundress Elizabeth Prout. On this day three years earlier I was just making a commitment to the congregation to discern with them! What a completely different person that sits here typing on this blog. 

On the feast day of Elizabeth Prout, the four girls here, had a celebration to mark the entering into spiritual year. It was a sweet simple liturgy integrated into the Mass. 

While the day was to mark the stepping stone that was present, I walked away with a sense of exclusion for the other four girls who have just made a commitment also in terms of giving up their work. 

This seems to have gone without too much acknowledgement. For me, been in their position not so long ago, I’m highly aware of what this means in terms of moving from secular society rhythm to one that is typically counter cultural; is actually very significant on the journey.  I am aware that on my own journey I jump between the two, especially in moments of challenge, moments of unsettlement and vulnerability, the seeking reverts back to the familiar comfort of the norm that was present before entering. 

In a round about way, we did acknowledge together the feelings, the meaning and the excitement of making this step. We went out to share a meal together just as Jesus did. With great laughter, sharing, joy and a little sadness for the people whose path will no longer cross our own. It was a very impromptu celebration that was rather deeply moving in the openness, the togetherness and the reflections that were exchanged. 

(Note - This is my opinion, this is viewed through my eyes with the realisation of what it meant for me!! ) 

I was also very aware that there is so much needed to tell people about Elizabeth Prout. Even during Mass the absent of the connection was evident - although I am very observant at times!!  While at times I think she was just an ordinary women, who did extra-ordinary acts of compassion, it is simply this that makes her today a role model for many to follow. Our society is changing at a great rate and the lines are becoming blurred as to role models, figures to look to for living example, women role models. Elizabeth confronted so much in her short life, so much of it is written in language of a time that has gone, that has been. Yet if you look, if you read in light of today there is a light that is so present, so strong and relevant that radiants out. Maybe I am the one to do something, instead of ‘complaining’ about it!! 

On this feast day we also celebrated January birthday’s which were Anne and mine. Beautiful green tea and corn cake, after dinner presented with a small gift from each community. Lucky me got an umbrella which is the best gift ever!! Along with some whitening sunblock… not too sure how that works ;o) 

Back in Australia I also had birthday celebrations, It was a wonderful day full of great joy and happiness. The morning had a moving liturgy, caught up with a few people had not seen. Then followed by lunch with our brothers, followed by afternoon tea with a few families, then evening with a couple of close families. I was surrounded by so much love, joy and sense of beauty in the gifts the Lord has blessed me with.
Even though my trip was very short to Australia, I left with the renewal sense of the importance of the wider community. After all I would not be in this congregation without them. It was laity who have nourished me, encouraged me, meet needs that the Sisters could not during formation, and gifted me with Lords blessing. This is part of my story, apart of my journey. Returning to a place where the Sister community is strong and the wider community is non existent makes me realise just how much this connection means to me. Just how much the Lord works through them. On the plane returning I was reflecting on this realisation and wondered why I was so taken by it, almost surprised really of the significance of the wider community. Past month I have been pondering deeply the question of how to live as a religious Sister, I feel this is very important to answer, especially with the one year of taking vows just around the corner. 

I guess this is life ha! Questions, little answers - thanks theology!! -

This year I was highly aware of the concept of making new year resolutions. Why do we even do this! I was going to write a blog about it yet that didn’t happen! A change in the lifestyle, in the mindset, in the behaviour is more achievable and more productive that stating one thing that you want to achieve… I guess so often in society that one thing is unrealistic or completely unachievable in our small attention span of instant demanding gratification! 

So I sit here catching my breath, feeling that January is really a weird month! Making goals and starting new creating conflicting emotions. And keeping resolutions is just about the hardest thing to do because really a new calendar doesn’t mean I’m a new person! New year, new you is not really a thing - a marking thing yes - reality! Not convinced! 

But this is alright, its okay. 

Of course, I still long for a new me, there is so much growth to happen. That’s apart of the human condition, part of the sanctification process. Sure, our salvation in Christ means we’ve died to our former selves, that we’re no longer slaves to sin - so the song reminds us - We are children of God, holy in His sight, simply due to the grace of Jesus. But even after all that (and thanks needs to be given for “ALL THAT” to the Lord) I’m still human, I’m still fallible, and I’m still fall down. I still long for that brand new, pure and holy me that I’ll someday be in heaven. 

Maybe January isn’t the weird one. Maybe its me and my all-or-nothing, now or never, extremist approach to the new year. Maybe its the way I disregard the small changes the Lord has engineered in my life and my heart, or the way I refuse to remember whose strength can make a single goal or resolution possible. After all, when I’m honest, I must admit I struggle with this every month of the year, not just in January. 

BBQ Vietnamese style on the roof top!!