Continue to let the light shine

While Im highly aware Sisters around the world are awaiting for words, photos and responses to all their messages of love, as too are those who could not be present on Saturday. 

Its hard to comprehend the happenings of the past week, with table clothes washed, ironed, put back into their right places. Linen washed, folded, ironed and rooms rearranged with no overflowing bodies taking rest between the sorting, organising and celebrating. Flower petals starting to drop, the arrangements droop down with joy that they brought in their peak moment. The church stripped away, all physical evidence apart from a candle is left to indicate that the Lord called us all together in thanksgiving for His gift to us, to me. 

Life continues though, Ash Wednesday yesterday with a full church of people preparing for the coming forty day journey. Tonight is companion Mass and recommitment service, along with a small memorial for Father Tim. Tomorrow is full of adventure with union of music group and preparation for stations of the cross …. life continues. 

While the email box still awaits my attention, the cards are slowly been read and prayed in thanksgiving for each one. While I am still the same person with a new cloak, taking time to adjust, to reposition myself in the unfamiliar. Heart longs for stillness for prayer, the mouth wants to sing, shout in joyful praise and the body wants rest, sleep and renewal energy. Above all this though, the moment of been on the mountain top has past and the feelings of a valley below are present while I walk around the edge of the mountain in joyful hope, in anticipation of the next step. Closer to moving to the mountain top or slipping to the valley… sometimes we do have choice, after all that is a gift from the Lord. 

In one breath I note how easy it is to praise when the fruit is visible, when new buds break through hard soil, and affirmation from others comes in like a rushing wave. It’s easy to praise His name when life is steady, our calling is clear, and the direction of where to go is marked. 

While apart of me questions what happens when it all feels a little wonky? When the dreams feel foolish and doubt creeps in, restlessness and discontent swoop in and carry us away without gripping on. 

We are all offered a blank canvas and paintbrushes to make something beautiful. This year feels no different, this moment feels no different. While I was not ready to set intentions or make plans. I struggle to find clarity and purpose in the place the Lord has called me to. I write a few goals just for the feeling of accomplishing something but each lack depth and truth. 

Its in these moments, in this moment that I imagine Him cupping my face and whispering in my ear that my identity isn’t found in success and dreams achieved and a to do list but in being HIS. In being adored, cherished, and fought for every single day. Not a better, shinier model of myself but the woman I am right now. Even as the world tries to tell us something different. 

This ground we walk is holy. This ground I walk is holy.

I am His beloved. We are His beloved. Walking on holy ground even when its painstakingly quiet. We feel His presence and talk to him as we would a friend. We let it all go, we hold nothing back. 

We are here. Walking on a cloud of prayer, letting my heart open to the pouring out of rejoicing while my eyes fix upon His. How limiting is the english language to retain my expression and prevent from fully emptying one self for another to witness, another to sense through this modern day two dimension media. 

Know that my memory contains the pictures, my heart contains the roots and all around me reflect back the grace, the blessings and light the Lord shines upon me.
As I walk this holy ground, I give thanks for all the messages, the presences of each person on the day, on the journey, in prayer or simply I have bump into on the path. The new buds are forming, the living water is flowing and the spirit moving... where to next... Lord will shine His light upon me.

In the coming days I will put up photos, meaning behind all aspects of the profession. First though, rest for the soul and body...