Safe return to my community

February 08, 2017

Safe return to my community

The birds sing outside my window at dawn as the sun rises the life around me does a morning joyful song and dance. The clouds have parted leaving only clear blue sky, feeling like I’m looking up to see the ocean above me while I am in the sky.

I have arrived safely back to my community, after a very long twelve hour journey back to them. A few small hiccups yet what would life be like without these. I power through my book to complete by the time the plane wheels smoothly guided onto the tarmac. It was with a great outflow of breath that I have arrived once again to a place where peace seems to flow in the water giving life in so many forms.

I feel my blog has forgotten who I am, or maybe rather I forgot where my blog is …. With only a rant on the importance of acknowledging Mary as a women, the beautiful powerful women, and in truth this blog post was in response to a homily that I was not content to agree with. Injustice towards Mary, towards women, towards nothing giving our hearts the message of the gospel… all this still makes my fingers rant off in another direction!

I admit I’m felt like I was entering 2-17 with an overwhelmed heart. The fresh new year is a struggle…. and there are certain tasks that seem bigger than I can hurdle. But I believe 2017 is the year to do hard things; to dig deeper than ever before, to stay laser-focused on Him and shore up my foundation in preparation for challenging days to come. To live through reconciliation, heart felt, deep and life giving reconciliation no words or soft romantic images of it!

The three week journey came at the perfect moment as the Lord planned it.

The journey back to New Zealand was three weeks of joy, challenges at times yet a gift beyond what i could envision. Weeks of planning before we left, only to arrive to a different plan, a different pace and that strong reminder that often my plans are not the same as the Lords. There is a letting go given to embrace the movement, with awareness that my vision is narrow at times compared to the Almighty!

The first week and half was packed with visiting people, seeing loved ones, reconnecting in person. Brigid was with me, meeting all the influential people in my life, seeing where i grew up and what is apart of me and help shape me into the growing young women I am. We were not able to see everyone, my apologies if we didn’t make it to see you, time was not on our side to fit everyone in. Some days we meet two or three different people and on these days it was with light hearts and heavy eyes we lay at night to rest.

It felt a little strange at times been back in New Zealand, nothing puts things quite into perspective like returning back to your ‘home ground’ or the place you grew up decades after leaving. When there I am almost painfully reminded of all my ups and downs over the years, of my successes and learning - or at the time I term failures. Returning back to Whanganui, back to a family event, to something that held a sense of familiarity with a tint of standing on different ground. It’s the centre for a lot of my memories which when I return, tend to consume me. There was a love hate relationship, with been present, while been a little painful yet knew it was healthy and good for me. After all its not healthy to run away from the past nor our emotions!!!

(Sacred Heart College Chapel - school no longer exist, property holds a retirement village, yet chapel is present as its a Heritage Listed Building and the Retirement village agreed to maintain)

We were very fortunate to visit the chapel where for me is the starting point of my heart seeking for a deeper relationship with the Lord. I stood in the familiar setting, with nothing much changed, even the chips on the station of the cross remained. The reminder of schools masses, of those times had to come forward from the hard wooden pews to receive acknowledgement of achievement from the front, near the marble altar., or where we stood for choir performances, school photos, announcements. Those rich moments when the chapel was empty and I was invited to help polish the brass, ensure the chapel set for a celebration and simply just let the peace and quiet whispers echo in my heart to my head allowing me to action what I felt.

Yet while standing there, in a moment where I was anxious about visiting family, a sense of familiarity return it was the Cross that caught my eye. Reminder that even in the mist of our travels, simply focus on Him. I knew, the hours may look impossible up ahead, but the truth is “Only one thing is necessary” (Luke 10:42)

Simple things become complications because of our expectations. And today the only expectation? Is to trust Him without limitation. It’s already okay, exhale and smile. Trust His Heart and Simply Do the Next Thing. Believe it: The Cross I have been given, is always God’s kindest decision. This cross I carry today, is carrying me towards who I am meant to be.

… And as we walked out of the chapel feeling once again hearted strengthen and renewed for the journey we continue with our meeting and greeting.

Leaving Whanganui there was a sense of growing up, a sense that we all come to a point learning to accept the past, accept that it is what it is and we can’t change it, the only choice we have is to acknowledge it and move forward. At times its a very confronting reality to be faced that you have grown, moved onwards while others are in a different space, different place to where you left them. There is a rich beauty in this, while holding a sense of unfamiliarity in something that was so familiar.

Returning back to community there is a delightful sense of the unknown about the coming year. Its a breath of freshness and hopefully a little playful joy after a few hard weeks the Sisters have had. I feel as if everything around me reminds me its a time to ring out with new beginnings, goals, dreams and a renewed vigour to all things. Brand new journals glisten with fresh pages eager to be conquered and the schedule starting to be formed with creative organisational prowess that makes the rest of me yearn to learn the secret to balance!!

Oh there is so much to tell about our travels, I will write another reflection on the “tourist” trip Brigid and myself took. The adventures we had. For now here is some photos.

SOME PEOPLE FROM HOME - YOU GET TO MEET -