Road to calvary

Sometimes I get excited at opportunities that land on my door step. 

Im not the type of person to jump up and down nor even give the impression at times I’m excited; as the car salesman learnt when my dad took me to buy my first car, all those years ago! The guy was left questioning my dad why I didn’t seem ecstatic like his daughter at the notion of getting a car. 

Yet recently, I find that expressing excitement is catchy, it is like something magnificent, something mammoth and meaningful is going to take place, or taken place. And I want to be counted!! 

In these moments the wrappings of eager seem to cover every inch of me, adeptly holding the vision of amazing about to unfold. I can feel it. I could see it. I can almost smell it… until… sometimes something happens. 

“There has been a change of plans” 

These words occur in different ways, in different sentences, in different colours all at different times, yet fundamentally are the same.

Sometimes it can feel akin to kissing the women who just spoke ill of you when she turns, or pedicuring the feet of a friend who lied directly to your face, or dying for the man who just spit on you, or forgiving the thief standing next to you. 

And this thought, it hits me with the power of the cross, making me realise….. 

The Lord has some stuff to say… 

So I listen. 

The Lord whispers, “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived… the things God has prepared for those who love him.” (1Corinthians 2:9) 

Oh how God loves me. 

How God loves you. 

He has big plans for us both!!!

We have a choice in moments like these, don’t we? We can choose to wallow in the idea of limited opportunities or we can choose to see the unlimited Lord we follow.

Today I have been sitting with 1Corinthians 2, where Paul talks about the present power of Christ crucified. Paul will not let the cross become a historical relic. He puts it at the centre of his everyday work and relationships. Which is passionist charism in its richnest form, often developing tents in the shadow of the cross. Paul disputes with opponents in the shadow of the cross. He eats, drinks and sleeps Christ crucified. And the effect this has on him is making him a man of broken-hearted love, so out of step with this glory seeking world that he can only be explained by the power of God. 

Jesus stated (Luke 9:23) 

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” 

When Christ died on the cross for “sinners”, he not only stood in my place, doing what I never could do (forgive my sin) but he also showed me what i must do if I would save my life, namely, take up my own cross and join him on the Calvary road of death to self. 

It has never for a moment came into my thought pattern that Christ came to save us from carrying the cross. I read this today and thought.. wait a second how can anyone develop this notion….  This leaves me pondering what ‘kind’ of God people believe in, what does the cross even mean if people believe they do not need to carry as Jesus has been here done that!!

Paul is a very insightful and gives us empowering words to hold onto. In Romans (6:6) his words teach us never to let the cross lose its crucifying power in our lives. Never let it slip into the dim and misty past as though Christ died for sinners so that we can live for pleasure.

Some pleasures we do experience, like forgiveness, acceptance and healing. But just like Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before him, so it is with us the most joy we long for is still over the horizon. (Hebrews 12:1-11)

For me, Paul shows me something so deep that reminds me how I too can journey. He died on the cross everyday. He died to intellectual show. He died to impressive eloquence. He died to secular demands of suave, self-assured, powerful, attractive performances. He was with us in weakness and much fear and trembling so that our faith - yours and mine - might rest not in the wisdom of a man, but in the power of God - the power of Christ crucified. 

One can only beg not to treat the cross like a historical relic of the past. It is in the very power of God to change everything in our lives.  As I often pray asking the Lord to teach me how to be the disciple Im called to be; on this day the message is if I want to save my live and not lose it, I need to take up my cross daily, count this world to be the Calvary road, not the streets of gold. This gives my soul so much nourishment, feeling like living water to keep the calvary path moist and durable.  

Sometimes in those moments when I feel like excitement is taken away from me, I recall the cost, the reality. Sometimes the opportunities are handed over to another, blessing another in a way that only the Lord can carve out. In a small way its giving a trophy to honour another soul, that could be held through hard times. 

In these moments, when someone receives “something magnificent, something mammoth, something meaningful,” …. the thing is - so do I. He made my sacrifice count for another, and that is worth something!! 

Because somedays, isn’t that what we are all really after? To count? Counting much more about saying “Your will be done” than it is saying “ I am going to get this done.”  Sometimes, it is much more about stepping aside than it is about stepping in. Sometimes, it is much more about humility than it is about the spotlight.