Where do you stand?

Im nursing a cold that is 'self inflicted' in a sense; just pure tiredness from giving my all during the lenten period. It is coming right though, the quiet days are welcome and embraced. 

A much needed time to lift my heart after the depth of the easter celebrations. Sometimes I still feel like Im at the shadow of Good Friday just awaiting for the virgil light to shine upon me. This coming from a place that organization, 'behind the scene' at times took more consumption that the stillness, receiving of the Lords mercy, Lords gift over the essential feast that we celebrate were not dwelled in as much. 

I am yet to learn or rather acknowledge the balance level of this, allowing my heart to grow in depth, grow in that intimacy I continue to cry out for. 

At the moment Im highly aware of the path I journey is so unknown in the sense its written in another language that those who walk before me know or bystanders can read. This leads to a sense of isolation in some unfamiliar ways and also a high awareness of the need to remind, use words, rejoice in just that path I walk upon. 

Launch into the deep is wisdom cherish today as it was that day Bishop gave it to me, reminding me of Christ giving it to Peter always bring me back to Christ. 

Reality is … my words fall short, 

my frustration builds, the path is rocky at times

and the Lord tightens his embrace around me. 

I am starting to feel a gentle push from behind, just like all good shepherds way of speaking. 

Sister is over in Vietnam welcoming another two Sisters who have followed Mother Mary Joseph guidance and inspiration to journey with the young women who express its their hearts call to journey with the Passion and Cross sisters, in order for them to be loving servants of the Lord. 

Just like me! 

It is a rather exciting moment, Im certain the Lord is watching with a gleeful smile shining his love onto them all. Mother Mary Joseph and all those who have gone to be with her, with Christ will be surrounding them, sitting at the table with them in jubilation of the new seeds that are been watered in that unique loving life giving living water that is pour among them. 

Peel back the layer for a moment, there is another reality at play, one that I am not entirely accredited to talk about; one that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth at the mere sense of its presence. One that I push the boundaries to even put words on, after all no one has ever looked in my direction or possibly even awoken to my awareness of it. 

A negativity that creeps in, through word choose, undertone, labels and images, challenges explained rather than adventures embraced. 

I fear that often at times the focus lens are narrow rather than open, the push from behind is not felt or identify as that of the good shepherd rather a human drive. 

Apart of me wishes to speak for those without voices, I feel at one stage we stood in the same footsteps. Their season is forming and changing just like mine...

My heart cries as I stand in a moment where my reality could be another…. 

people ask continuously when am I returning home….. my voice is growing in strength with a reply that I am home, Lord has blessed me with peace, love and oh how its beautiful been home!!. 

questions of loneliness hit the ears with alarm bells … a prayer put into words that a companion will arrive when the Lord has written, all in his time - test of patience Im certain. 

Lack of understanding why an action so countercultural would be taken, what a selfish act to enter into something that on the surface seems to be 'dying out' ….. truth is when the seed blossoms it blossoms and the Lord writes the story not me! what naivety lays behind the lack of vision, when did we start living with views of the past rather than hope for tomorrow!! 

cost are counted, sacrificed are measured by the weight of the outcome … reaction is a tear that speaks of my feelings, words of great sorrow with hope that its surface words rather than heart measure! 

I stand in a moment of change, not just for me, rather for the church, for the congregation, for the parish, for the community I live in, for the individuals I am blessed to encounter each day. 

A moment of change of comfort, of known, of certainty. 

I pray that its embraced, that its seen for its richness, for its Lords beautiful illustration at hand. 

Acknowledgement needs to be given that times have changed! 

Religious life has left its peak stage … 

…. left that period of time when numbers lead to a structured life serving within and without. Community formation, community definition and meaning had a different shine, different tone and a completely different taste. 

I fear Vatican II gets a lot of unrequited accusation for religious life changing in a dramatic way.

 The way I see it, is truth always shines, 

A plea to all to rise the question 

What religious vocation means??!!

its not a vocation of primary means of outreach, its not a vocation of primary means to give your life to another human. To respond to a call to religious life is taking up the prospect of raw heart lifting up life for the Lord, living the suffering in the passion to maintain that call. 

Note Im still on the journey….so those who have respond to the vocation years blossoming away would have a deeper richer clear word description. Yet bottom line I believe that its the giving of the heart to the Lord, responding to the Lord, living in the passion to never lead from the path directly from 'my' heart to the Lords heart. 

Please I ask not to forget the beauty of tomorrow the Lord has written. Not just for yourself, rather those who walk in your light. Embrace the adventure don't spend time putting too many words on the challenges. Everyday should be like we are sent out in twos on the road to Emmaus to witness love, witness the light that is shinned upon each and everyone of us uniting us and lifting it straight back up to the Lord. Never get caught off guard by the weighing of cost in all forms; living in the past; sharing words that oppress hope; fearing the unknown or offering a hand of negativity rather than truth! 

OPEN UP  - AWAKEN - ARISE

For us as a congregation, see before you a new chapter, see before you a new face of religious life. A way that Lord has called his child to live in Him, service Him and be with Him TODAY. Turn your minds and hearts back to Mother Mary Joseph for guidance, she has walked the journey already, do you see? She has formed a community within another country, from the unknown to meet the needs of the time. Her spirit is what our charism radiants, her spirit shines the Lords pure grace, mercy and love so evidently in every aspect of life. If you want to speak of cost, weight of sacrifice then ask insist on comparing it with her - beside her!! If you need strength then simply ask, just like the Lord teaches us also - ask you will receive! Cling onto her example, taste it, see it, feel it, live it as that is what is forming right now. That is what been nurtured and been passed onto the next generation of the Lords children in order to be passed onto more of the Lords children to come. 

Negative shades of white, dark shades of happiness have no place in this picture, its so bright, so colorful that one look, one taste makes your heart jump for joy of praise and embrace. One hand reaches out to offer living water - I pray that your hand too will reach in union with Mother Mary Joseph, Christ our Lord, all our loving Sisters gone before us, uniting with that of the Sisters currently at the table with the Lords children He has called….  Soften your hearts, embrace the adventure and never for a moment forget its the Lords call and mission not "yours", not all can be there yet all can offer prayer, not all are ready to join the celebration so just await with open hearts and offer no words, listen and offer no sound effects yet feel, be guided by the spirit and witness. Share some of your living water when you are ready….