Sparks do fly

Hard to believe nearly a year ago I was in Argentina, how the world has changed!! How I have changed!! Recently I was asked to reflect back on that gathering between young religious and put forward something that I would like to discuss or raise as a whole group discussion. 

The past few days the stirrings have been going through me, it has taken me a little by surprise to be honest. The sense that my idealism along with black and white side really came to clash knowing very well that a year with miles, culture, language diversity is a small drop in the large bucket. Yet I would have thought we would have carried forward into reality a few of the desires spoken with what seem like motivation behind them.  

 

I feel that there are little sparks around the place and yet they don’t catch, they don’t even have enough air to grow into a fire. I question why this is, who determines who puts the sparks out. There is a mixture of the taking of air to prevent them from growing, can see this in responses, in projections and at times fear. Then there is the outright putting out the spark due to language or rather terminology understanding with the reality of lost in translation a very real tangible barrier. The questioning of the motivation behind the spark, or the projection of the past to prevent an interaction. 

 

The thing is, sparks do flicker up through gaps and even with limited air. I recently was making a prayer liturgy for celebrating Elizabeth Prout 200 years on 11^th September. It was through putting the material into visual form, a quote from Fth. Gaudentius Rossi CP to Elizabeth in a way of reaching out in encouragement at what she was about to undertake. “All great undertakings have had small beginnings” 

 

 

You see, I sit in a moment with heighten awareness that the structures that are all around me are shaking. I have a more active life virtually than I do physically in terms of relationships. This is reality of the time I live, of being miles away from the wider community that nourish and support me. Of where I seek spiritual nutrition along with companionship in a world that seems so disconnected. 

Intergenerational living is mixed in with intercultural living and I find myself unable to identify which is which at times taking a lot of energy to be present with compasasion. 

 

THEN I catch  my breath… where is the Lord in all this, where is His hand at work, the pulling and shaping of the clay to form a new vessel? 

What does that vessel even look like.. then I smile to myself and realise this is not a question I have asked nor really have the ability to answer. Its only through the Lords grace and creative strength that it can come to be. 

 

Recently I read LCWR presidential address, it has moved me and brought a sense of hope. Jayne Helmlinger CSJ, describes religious life as a cruise ship. The ship has served well over the years, steady vessel with the large numbers’ ministries flourished and community life sustained along with liturgies, prayers expressing the love of God. It was all work serving from an outpouring of God’s love. 

YET all cruise ships must return to shore. Now it possibly the time that it is on the shore with the question rising do we board new vessels as a response to the current needs on the margins and periphery of life? Margins where the large vessels cannot sail, the cruise ship was built for many, where now are fewer and the need the right size to sail into the future that is upon us. I am highly aware that parts of us would claim they have enough to run a cruise ship highlighting the reality that not just one vessel is required rather an arrange of all shapes and sizes. 

 

I love this metaphor, it gives me hope in truth, a deep hope that words cannot express. While I am not lonely the journey is lonely, I question what an international community is when the sparks are not crossing the water, nor the thin threads growing thicker. What vessel is required to get across the water to reach the other parts. Is the motivation and desire there? I wonder. In some ways I draw hope from the awareness that maybe my vessel is a kayak and that is alright. I walk a journey that holds this awareness of being ‘other’, different culture, age, language, mindset, ability etc. There is a deep richness to this along with a rather loneliness too. The sense though is that this moment, dwelling in the Lord to ensure the chosen sea-worthy vessel that will set sail into the deep, uncharted waters that are awaiting will hold through. The moulding of the vessel is underway and the small sparks have clearly been seen if I am able to say they have been put out leaving a question of what is the difference between no spark and dim spark, do I even have the sight to tell. 

Turn to the Lord –  “All undertakings have small beginnings.”